Am I Really That Obtuse?

The Daily Office is, of course, an annual cycle of prayers and scripture readings that recognizes the essential need we have for repetition, reinforcement, and recollection in our spiritual lives. Sometimes I’m not as regular as I would like, but even long before I took to it as part of my Rule, I was well acquainted with the stories of the death of John the Baptist and our Lord’s feeding of the five thousand.

Meanwhile, we make it to Tuesday evening prayer of the Eighteenth Sunday After Trinity, and all of a sudden, I was just dumbfounded by the New Testament reading. We’re in St. Matthew’s Gospel and had just finished the story of the beheading of St. John the Baptist, which by the way, is for me one of the most disturbing stories in the Bible. I’ve always had an almost visceral reaction to the actions that lead to his most heinous death. On so many levels, it is shocking and devastating.

But, I was struck anew by the effect it had on Jesus: “When Jesus received this news, he withdrew from there in a boat by himself to a deserted place […]” (Matt. 14:13).

Of course, he wanted to be alone — to process this tragedy — to mourn. But the chapter continues. I know the chapter divisions are sort of arbitrary, but the narrative nevertheless continues.

And somehow, I've never noticed — or have forgotten — the juxtaposition of this tragedy with what comes next.

It makes my heart ache to continue reading. To pick up from the ellipsis above: “[…] but when the people learned of it, they followed him on foot from the towns.”

Just when he needs to be alone and grieve, the crowds find him and bombard him again. In my book, that would qualify as a nightmare.

But the narrative continues: “When he came ashore and saw the vast crowd, he had compassion on them and healed those who were sick.” Evening approaches and He has the disciples give them something to eat.

I’ve never put those stories together. I see and understand our Lord’s love in an entirely new light at this miracle now. “We love, because He first loved us.” Oh, that I could follow His example more often in my life.

Am I really that obtuse? … Yes, I am. But thankful when the Spirit instructs.

“LORD, we beseech thee, grant thy people grace to withstand the temptations of the world, the flesh, and the devil; and with pure hearts and minds to follow thee, the only God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”